There are two types of marriages:
Within these two types, there are three categories:
I will say this plainly: If God does not recognize your marriage to a person, then you are not married to that person. A government does not decide who is married and who is not married – God does. God will only recognize a marriage license if God married those two people, otherwise, a marriage license has no meaning except to the government. A community does not decide who is married and is not married – God does. Having a pastor, elder, prophet, apostle, or someone else marry two people together does not mean that God will accept that marriage.
One of the purposes of marriage is the expansion of the Kingdom of God. Marriage is an assignment from God where He creates a “company of two” (via marriage) to do the works that God has assigned those two people to do for the purpose of expanding His Kingdom.
Divorce:
In Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:8-12, and Mark 10:10-12, there is a common theme where Jesus says that you cannot divorce your wife unless she has committed fornication. The word ‘fornication’ in Greek is ‘pornea.’ But ‘pornea’ has another meaning: idolatry. It was the same word that was used in the Septuagint to describe Israel when they went off track and worshipped other gods.
Modern theology just assumes that sexual immorality is the only way for divorce, but through the prophetic, we have learned that Jesus meant something else: to divorce your spouse in the event that they were no longer working for the Kingdom of God or became idolatrous.
Although God has put two people together via marriage to expand the Kingdom of God, there exists free will. And through that free will, a person may rebel and go off track and become rebellious to God. When that happens legal grounds for divorce open up.
In Mark 10:9, it says, “what God has joined together, do not allow man to separate.” Let me make this simple: God is the one who marries two people together, not man, angel, demon, etc. – Only God. This verse shows that God is the one who married the two people. Everything God does is to expand His Kingdom. Marriage is for Kingdom Expansion. One of the reasons why God hates divorce is because it splits something He put together that was for the purpose of Kingdom expansion. And when a God ordained marriage is split, it can cause ripple effects that echo into eternity. And these ripple effects can cause people to not get saved, it can cause delays in the expansion of the Kingdom, and it can cause satan to gain grounds.
Now, the opposite is true, too. If a person in a God ordained marriage falls away from God, then that person can cause their spouse to fall away from God, too. And this would have everlasting ripple effects into eternity, too. At this point and time, God would be willing to divorce the two people and then create a new marriage with the God fearing spouse and another God fearing person of the opposite sex. And this would be for the purpose of expanding His Kingdom.
At this point, it would be God who divorces the people, meaning God approved the divorce because He did it. In Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:8-12, and Mark 10:10-12, it talks about how if a man puts away his wife and they remarry, then they are in adultery. Let me make these verses more clear: if God marries two people and one of those people leaves the marriage, or both people decide to split and go their own ways, then it was through the decision of a human that caused the ‘divorce.’
In reality, the people split due to selfishness, and God does not recognize the divorce, therefore He still considers the people married. So if either one of those people has sex with another person, then it is counted as adultery. What those verses do not say is: “if GOD divorces.” It only talks about when humans try to take marriage dissolution into their own hands and try to force a divorce. So, what if God divorces the people? It means that if God remarries those divorced people to someone else, then they will NOT be in adultery.
If a God ordained marriage goes bad, then God will be willing to dissolve the marriage for the sake of His Kingdom. God will be willing to take one or two divorced people and marry them together for the sake of advancing His Kingdom. I have seen this many times. In a perfect world, people would accept their assignment of being partnered (married) to someone else for their time here on Earth. But since we live in a fallen state, divorces happen.
The biggest key to marriage and divorce is to be able to hear God. You and your spouse need to be able to hear God clearly enough to know that you two should get married. And you should have two or three witnesses who hear the same. If someone is making the decision for you, then it may not be God ordained. Although, God could use the culture traditions to cause a marriage to happen when people cannot hear God.
A Woman Divorcing Her Husband
Some people have an idea that only the husband can do the divorce. If you are one of these people, then allow me to explain something to you: The Bible was written in a male dominated society. Men ruled and considered women as property. And man made their own traditions and laws that gave men, not women, the authority over divorce. Take a note at what I said: “it was humans that made their own traditions that only men could initiate the divorce.” I did NOT say: “God made it so that only men can initiate the divorce.”
In Mark 10:12 Jesus mentions that “if a woman divorces her husband…” In this case, Jesus is recognizing that a woman can divorce her husband. So, let it be known that a woman can divorce her husband, just like how a husband can divorce her wife, if they have legal rights to do so.
Legal Rights to Divorce
As I said before, only God can dissolve (divorce) a marriage that He put together. But, it is possible for you or your spouse to obtain legal rights to petition the courts of Heaven for a divorce. Yes, you need to take it to the courts of Heaven, because that is part of the proper order or doing things. Just remember that God is the Judge.
Allow me to explain some things about having legal rights for a divorce:
Inside of a marriage, there are specific roles that you must fulfill, whether you are the husband or wife. When a spouse fails to fulfill those roles, over an extended period of time without repentance, then you will gain legal grounds for divorce. Why? Because this falls under the clause of ‘idolatry’ (pornea), meaning that they are disobeying God.
Scattered throughout the Bible, you will find the roles of a husband and wife. Husband (male) and wife (female) are positions (assignments / roles) on Earth. In general, the male role is one of leadership (both spiritual and physical) and a role of providing provision. A female role is one of servanthood, supporting the leadership, and maintaining the spiritual environment. But those roles are in addition to what Jesus already expects of you, by loving one another and those around you. Then you have your blueprint, which is what you were created to do (and your main purpose on this planet).
Now, to go against those roles and assignments or change them is to rebel against God. And this is idolatry (pornea). So if the husband is failing to fulfill his roles as a husband, then the wife will gain legal grounds to divorce him. And if the wife fails in her roles, then the husband will gain legal rights to divorce her. But just because you gain legal rights to divorce your spouse does not mean you have to divorce them. It just means you can take it to the courts of Heaven for a verdict on divorce. And just because you take it to the courts of Heaven does not mean they will rule in your favor and grant the divorce.
Understand this: Just because a spouse fails in a role does not mean you can divorce them, or that you must divorce them. A spouse has to constantly fail in their roles (plural) and responsibilities (plural) over a long period, without repentance, before the courts of Heaven will grant a divorce. The spouse will be given many chances to change. They will be given many warnings. And God will give them grace. And you should be forgiving your spouse when they fail and giving them grace, too.
Just because the spouse fails once does not mean the marriage is over. People have to learn and grow. Just because a spouse fails at one role does not mean you can divorce them. Usually, they have to fail at many roles over a period of time, without repentance, before divorce is possible.
Similarly, if your spouse commits adultery upon you, you should forgive them and give them another chance. Just because your spouse commits adultery once does not mean you should divorce them. It does not mean that God will allow that divorce, either. If your spouse refuses to repent from adultery, then you may gain legal rights to divorce them.
Once a spouse fails enough in their roles, or has ventured far enough into the darkness, then it will be time for a divorce and God will allow it. And at that time, you can petition the courts of Heaven for a divorce. Once the divorce is passed in Heaven, sleeping with your spouse is counted as fornication. When the divorce is passed in Heaven, any kind of certificates, licenses, or contracts for marriage on Earth mean nothing, even if the earthly authorities claim that those objects are valid and say you are married to your ex-spouse.
Another way to have legal grounds for divorce is if your spouse fails their tests. God constantly tests us to see if we will continue to be obedient to Him. Once a spouse falls out of obedience to God by failing their tests, then the family risks curses coming upon them. And this could spiritually harm or destroy the family. It can also harm the advancement of the Kingdom of God. Such a thing also falls under the ‘idolatry’ (pornea) clause of Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:8-12, and Mark 10:10-12.
When a spouse has gone far enough down the path of darkness, the family and relationship will begin to fall apart. And sometimes, God will bring the marriage to an end if the husband and / or the wife refuse to divorce.
Petitioning for a Divorce
To petition for a divorce, you really need to be led by the Holy Spirit on when to do it. If you are doing it out of your personal desires and selfishness, it will be known, and divorce may not be granted. To petition for a divorce, imagine yourself in the courts of Heaven, where God is the judge. There will be other heavenly witnesses there, too.
Present all the various places where your spouse has failed in their roles, or where they have traveled down the path of darkness, or where they have failed their tests. Then, present your reason* for wanting to dissolve the marriage. Then ask for the divorce. If you are tuned in with the Spirit enough (high enough discernment to hear God), then you will know if the divorce has been granted.
(*Hint: the correct reason for divorce is the desire to expand the Kingdom of God. And the divorce is for that purpose. And being married to your spouse may hinder the expansion of God’s Kingdom. Of course, you would have to present proof of those things.)
If it is granted, then decree to all the heavens that you divorce your spouse three times. Afterwards, in the spirit you will be divorced. Afterwards, you would have to go through any earthly legalities for any marriage contracts, laws, licenses, certificates, etc. If there are none, then you and your spouse can separate immediately and go your own ways after you figure out how to do that.
*** Note: giving a bill of divorce or decreeing that you divorce someone three times does nothing, not unless God has already approved the divorce.
Also, God can divorce you and your spouse without you or your spouse doing anything, although He will let you know about it.